Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
