I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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