i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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