Dual....:-)
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
