I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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