I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
