I got chris browned last night
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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