I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
