just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I've blown a few things in my day
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
