I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
