I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
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