my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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