how hairy? two words: wookie tits
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
