so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
