just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
