just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
