And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
