Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
She even gives head with a lisp.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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