a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
