I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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