Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
