I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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