No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize