I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
