He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
i think my cat just said my name.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
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