You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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