Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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