omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
