if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
