sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
