ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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