She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
