The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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