areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Randomize
