I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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