do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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