I want to stick my p in your. b.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
