david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
