I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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