NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
