Your mouth is God's brothel.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
