Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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