Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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