My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Randomize
