I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
