did you get engaged???
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
