He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
