Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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