why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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