You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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